F Bomb Attack!! Or, Rainbow Socks Save the World!

Oh, it's been too long. 

I admit, it was Depression. It came whacking at me, kept me up all night, made Anxiety come to the party (she didn't want to, but she's so malleable!) and Self Doubt tagged along, too, even! It wasn't the best party I've been to, but honestly - not the worst. Though they were always there at those Worser Parties. You know, worse, but more worse - Worser. Those. Those were bad news, Maaannn... (ala, Chong, of Cheech and, that is.)

A few things changed this. I took the time to write to a friend, and got the shit out. She didn't even need to reply for it to lift, but I knew she would, and she did, the Love. I also went and bought a hula hoop. And? I wore my rainbow socks and shorts in PUBLIC.

Oooo, Raisin Girl, shorts? Self expression in PUBLIC? Sheesh, what are you? Fearful?! 

Yep. Sure have been. I've not worn shorts in public since 1993. And no, I am not kidding. Not even sure I wore them at *all*, let alone in public. Hell, I've not followed my own fashion loves since! At that time, I was divorcing DH #1, so I brought back some of my old styles from college and high school, but I didn't have the chance to dress for me all that much. Work being a part of it and money being another. When you make bagels for a living, you have to not wear a lot of jewelry and you have to accept that you will have dough and flour and mess all over you and under your nails (and then there was the house cleaning, ffs! Crap!). Over time, and over more poor-ness, I just got into the "It'll Do" mode. Anything special came to be because of an event, not from love for the item. Then later - way later - I had a baby (then another!). It's just not cool to have a baby/toddler and nurse with clothes that can't comfortably be lifted and maneuvered for nursing, nor are having a lot of bracelets or hair down (and done nicely) a reality.

Better shot of the great rainbow sock. 

 But now? The "babies" are 9 and almost 7! I have found *a* niche - Rocking unschooling friends with wild fashions, artists...and Body Confidence. Holy SHIT that is the real "it" isn't it? But that couldn't have come without a few things...like 1, therapy and 2, those friends! Now don't get me wrong, I have a kick ass best friend and have had her for ages, but she has a damned busy life. God, I hate this phrase...but...I had to find my "tribe." (gag, gag, gag me twice! oh my god, my fingers are falling off in a bloody mess of horrible modern colloquialisms!! save me!) 

And I DID! A few times over! *My* niche, maybe too?

My Unschoolers, my BFF for Life, Miz Sliz, hooping and...the point of the post...


Belly Dancing!


OMG. Like, really, OMG. YES! I think I'm high, still, from the class. Endorphins, baby! And finding a passion?! Holy fuck noodles and to the yeahs, Babies! 

No, actually, I quite enjoy it. It's a lovely class... ;) 

No, no, back to the Fuck Noodles! Whooooot! I muthahfuckin' loved it! My ASS muscles are sore. Yep, 'tis true. Quite, in fact. I think it's finally rising back up. Oh, yes.

So what happened, right? Raisin Girl - what is so fucking great about this class? It's the women! REAL women. Like curvy, hot, sensual women that are of ALL ages! (8yrs to 68yrs or so in my class) And they risk, they bare, they dare and they just are dancers, they are DANCERS. This is a vibe and energy I've craved for so long.

You know of course, this originated at my recent  Womynfest ;) aka, a recent conference. I can see the stages and steps to this, and MAN was the conference a big ole step up into deeper feminism. I was so blind to what I was doing before, thinking and hearing in my head...

If You Wouldn't Say it to Your Best Friend, Why the Hell Would You Say it to Yourself? 

Can you imagine, you are behind a layer of fuzz, and what you love is right over there, behind it? But yet you don't know that there is any reason to tear down the fucking fuzz, so you have sat there, dully, looking at the fuzz. Why? Because it's just white and fuzzy.

Actually, maybe the Fuzz is Fear, or like, maybe, an aspect of it? You like that phraseology there? Like, wow, man. Like, duuude. Hmmm. Interesting in and of itself.

So, see that's the thing - we have to just try anything and everything that piques our curiosity and interests. Is that not what unschooling about anyway? Curious? Check it out! Love it, leave it, whatever - but yeah, check it out FFS!

Ok, *this* is better, actually. 

 This was the best risk I ever took. Because I'm a newbie I can say this - EVERYONE should take this class. It will SAVE YOU from yourself. It's good for ALL people. My GRANDMOTHER should take this class (ok, actually, she should, but that's a different post and a different blog). My dead GRANDPARENTS should take this class. My fucking DOG should take this class. 

In reality? If you are a woman that questions her visibility, her sexuality and sensuality - especially due to age, abuse or, fucking so called "imperfections" - this really IS your class.

I have nothing more to say (yeah, right).

Having a La Fin du Monde (because it's not, it's the opposite!). Wishing I was at the Gallery tonight, but maybe next week. Mellowing into the evening.

Modeling news? Next post. Because, yes, there is some!

~ Raisin Girl